Why I Hired a Life Coach

Something I love about blogging is that it’s turned previously-private me into a moderately obnoxious oversharer. I am an open book.

A combination of going through some mentally rough times in the last few years and hearing about other people’s struggles has made me realize that everyone is going through something, even though we all pretend we’re not. So, I decided to stop pretending. It makes connecting with people so much easier, and it gives us all a much-needed reality check. Life is pretty damn cool, but it’s not all glitter and ice cream and unicorns.

So instead of quietly saying, “My life coach – I mean, a friend of mine – suggested…” I am shouting to the internet that I paid someone more money than I was strictly comfortable with to help me out when I was going through a rough patch, and she’s the best.

Let’s rewind back to August. I moved out! I was in a shiny new apartment with an adorable puppy and starting a new job! So much exciting adult stuff!

And it was equal parts fun and awful. I didn’t get homesick, like maybe I did when I was away from my family in Chicago. Nah, transitioning to my own place was easy. I mean, paying for things isn’t fun, but I’m a firm believer in capitalism, so I’m not going to complain about that too much.

What turned out to be hard was partially the same as what I struggled with at school – being lonely – and partially very different – being bored out of my mind. To say work started off badly would be an understatement. I came home from a huge chunk of my day that I hated and then was all alone with a rambunctious puppy when I wanted to relax, and I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so blah. But I started to fall back into my college habit of emotional eating and mostly staying at home and pretending I was fine, and I knew all that was no bueno.

I’ve considered hiring a life coach a hundred times before. I’ve also considered finding a solid therapist, which I know tons of people swear by. I want to be one of those people… but I’ve had only bad luck with therapists. And I’ve seen 8 of them. So, I went for something different. 

I’ve followed my coach on Instagram (so millennial) for a while, and when I reached out to her and we had an introduction call, I was like, “Yes, I’ve found my person.” So, when she told me how much two months of one-on-one coaching would cost (my concerns weren’t really in line with some of the group programs she runs), I hesitated for a second and then I decided to make it work.

In one call, I gained someone to advise on nutrition, exercise, and mindset/general happiness. For me, it’s mostly the last one, but she writes kickass workouts, too.

The hardest part

A couple times in the first few days, she texted me and basically said, “Remember, I’m here 24/7. Use me!”

And I had to ask the dumb question: “What do I text you about?”

The answer turned out to be anything. Any time I was feeling stressed or blah or anything and wasn’t sure how to handle it, that’s when I could text her. I tend to try to handle things myself, but by hiring a coach, I forced myself to start asking for a little more help.

Once I got comfy with asking for help and being totally honest is when the whole coach thing became extra helpful.

The changes

After our first call, she pretty much told me I was crazy stressed, so almost everything she’s had me do is designed to reduce all kinds of stress.

• I cut my almost-everyday workouts back to three times a week, with no cardio outside of walking. 
• I cut my 3-4 cups of coffee a day back to maybe that many a week. (Except this past week was a little rough.)
• I journal all the time. I have notebooks everywhere, and I’ll type a bunch of thoughts into the Notes app on my phone if I’m not near one of them.
• I make sure to get some protein within an hour of working out, but otherwise don’t make myself eat if I’m not hungry.
• I started actively dating, which very quickly turned into starting a relationship.
• I told my boss I was bored at work.
• I eat more carbs.
• I say yes to more weeknight fun.
• I’ve added not-excessive-amounts of mindless TV (Gossip Girl, if you must know) into my days.
• I let myself sleep in and have slow mornings after bad nights of sleep instead of getting up and pushing through out of habit.

The feels

By our third call, Mel said I looked and sounded like a different person. I mostly feel like one, too, honestly.

This past week has been a little rough, like I said, but I had warning and I expected it to be. I’m getting back to my new less-stressed normal now.

But in general, I smile more. I feel less stressed and extra supported. Objectively annoying things bug me less. My digestion has been good and my body feels less inflamed. It’s nice having someone a little removed from my life to give me advice and listen to what’s on my mind. 

Your turn:

How do you get through rough/transitional patches in life? Ask for help or do it yourself?

What’s your favorite form of self-care?