I can study or do problem sets for hours on end. Sure, I need to stretch my legs periodically, but give me a textbook or some math problems, and I’ll plug away at whatever is assigned with fairly little problem. But assign me an essay to write, and I crumble a little. I suddenly feel intimidated and worthless and I know zero things. (This is a slight exaggeration – but only a slight one.)
I think sometimes I’m all rainbows and butterflies in this space… and I definitely want it to be a generally positive blog. That said, here’s a window into my real paper-writing process.
Step 1: Assemble all the necessary materials and get comfy.
Basically, I need to gather the book (or books) I’m working with and my computer and carve out a little place for myself on my bed.
Step 2: Start planning.
I actually open a Word document, pick the prompt I’ll write on, and search for quotes in the text related to the prompt. Anything I might want to use gets put down, so it’s one less thing I have to do later.
Step 3: Play through my Candy Crush lives.
Now, I have to start.
Step 4: Try to figure out what I really want my paper to say.
I’m not excellent with outlines because I’m too impatient for them. So, this step is usually me calling my dad and trying to explain what I’m going to write about and how I plan to get there.
Step 5: Scroll through Instagram. Check my Facebook notifications and emails. Get sucked into Pinterest for a half an hour.
{Source}
Self-explanatory. I procrastinate a little too much.
Step 6: Squeeze out a temporary introduction.
These never last. Ever. And they’re usually really bad. But everything starts somewhere.
Step 7: Feel super confident as I start the body of the essay. Get into a really nice groove.
This also never lasts.
Step 8: Hit a wall.
Suddenly, I realize my argument doesn’t hold. Or, I just don’t feel like I have enough to say about the argument I’m making. This is usually followed by a panicked call/text to my dad. I sometimes also inform my friends I will be dropping out of college.
Step 9: Tentatively continue.
I keep writing, hopefully resolving the issue I just recognized. This part is usually with the aid of copious amounts of junk food. If you’re looking for suggestions, I recommend entire bags of miniature Special Dark Reese’s, pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and pretty much any flavor of Oreos. Sometimes protein bars make a decent stand-in. This food really cannot be salty – it just doesn’t work. Trust me on this. Adding a lot of Diet Coke can only help ease the pain.
Step 10: Fly through the rest of the paper on a sugar/caffeine high.
{Source}
This is not healthy. This is how I cope.
Step 11: Go through a lot of editing and revising.
I honestly probably have another crisis or two along the way.
I’m on step 11 for my final paper. Wish me luck.
Does anything cause you irrational feelings of inadequacy?
Do/did you like writing essays?
What would your junk food fuel of choice be?
Snickers!
I never was and never will be a good essay writer. Be thankful for your dad’s genes.
Oh, I am every day!
MATH….I hate math!!! 🙂 Good luck, but i know you got this.
Haha math is up after this paper is over 😉 Thanks so much, Mindy! 😀
To this day I panic at the thought of writing papers. I have been known to cope by eating heaping spoonfuls of ready made chocolate icing.
That’s my kind of coping mechanism! 😉
Essays are the worst. But, I think I’m getting better at writing them after writing so many. My junk food fuel would be a cookies and creme hershey chocolate bar, Mmm!
I hope that feeling starts to settle in soon. Yeah, those are definitely tasty!
Oh my, Ellen, I know you were saying that you want to keep most of your posts positive, but this totally counts, because I was laughing like almost the entire post…I was not delighting in your hardship, but it was so funny because it was so much like things I do when I have something difficult I have to write or an unpleasant task to do. So you are not alone and your description hit the nail on the head! I especially liked the procrastinating part…SO guilty! 😉
Things that make me feel inadequate? Math for one. 😉 Actually, a lot of things (like multiple things a day) make me feel inadequate, by which you can see how insecure I really am. 😉
The only essays I’ve written are ones I wanted to write, which obviously I enjoyed, but if it wasn’t on a topic about which I was passionate, I’m pretty sure I would not enjoy it at all!
Some form of chocolate!! Does that count? Okay, so add peanut butter…if I were near a local froyo shop, I’m pretty sure I’d combine the procrastinating with the junk food fueling and “take my work” there for a – ahem – snack. 😛
Hope you are happy with how your essay turned out!
Thanks so much! I was trying to keep it fairly light-hearted/self-deprecating/relatable 🙂 I figured I wasn’t the only one with such struggles, so it’s always nice to know you aren’t alone!
I’m sure you’re excellent at a bunch of things!! There are things that challenge us all, for sure, and bring out our myriad insecurities.
Oh, yes. Chocolate counts. Froyo counts. EVERYTHING counts when you’re fueling/procrastinating 😉
Thanks! It’s not the best, but it’s over, so that’s what matters now. Onto all the other studying!
This post is great! Usually when I have an essay due I brainstorm for about a week and then try to finish the paper in a day. It probably isn’t the best method, but whatever gets it done! 😉
Thanks, Alison! And hey, I say if it works, keep doing it 😉