I’m not usually one to do serious posts on Mondays, but this one has been sitting around for a while and it’s on my mind. I’ve also had some people send me questions about it lately. Finally, the light hasn’t been cooperating with me for pictures lately. I intend to come back with a lighter post and (hopefully) a chocolate-y recipe for you on Wednesday!
We’ve been over the fact that I’m skinny, and we’ve been over the fact that I don’t particularly want to be this skinny. And I think it’s clear that I freaking adore food. Like, I love everything about food. So, not being skinny should be easy-peasy, yeah? Eat all the things and watch the weight pile on, and ta-da! Problem solved.
Right?
Wrong.
It’s not always easy.
Don’t roll your eyes and snort in my general direction, but I can eat a whole lot and gain zero pounds. Or maybe two or three pounds, but that doesn’t do a whole lot over a few years. At least, not for my height. And also, eating a lot isn’t always easy – for two reasons. First, your stomach does have a limit. You can stretch it a lot and go to bed at night feeling pretty physically full (and I often do), but there are still some days were you have to eat less than others.
Second, sometimes you will probably feel ridiculous. Huh? Yes. On a day when I do a quick tally and realize I’ve enjoyed 4,000 calories or more, sometimes I dive deep into my own head and feel a little crazy. I mean, a standard nutrition label is designed for someone meant to consume 2,000 calories each day. And that’s “average”. So when I consume “multiple days” of food for an “average” person’s day and I weigh less than the average person of my height, I feel all sorts of wrong. I’m not, but I sometimes feel that way.
My mistake.
I think I used to believe that there was no way I could need X calories. One day, my body would just start putting on weight while eating my usual amount, with a little more thrown in here and there if I was hungry. Right? Uh, that’s not how that works. To gain weight, whether it’s fat or muscle, you need to eat more and do it consistently. And then you probably need to eat even more than “more”. But how?
Don’t think about it.
This is the way to get over the mental hurdle for me. I make eating automatic. If I’m hungry, I eat. If I think I’m hungry, I eat. And if I’m not full, I eat. There’s a fine line here between eating because you’re bored and eating because you really need food, and I’ve absolutely crossed it plenty of times. But regardless of why exactly you eat, if you need to gain weight, it’s safe to assume you need some food, so I try to let my thoughts end there.
None of that is to say I don’t think about nutrition and what makes me feel good, though. If you’re gaining weight for health reasons, you do ultimately want to be and feel healthier. Most of the time, processed food doesn’t make me feel great, so I try not to eat a whole lot of it. However, I can eat quite a lot of trail mix, nut butter, sweet potatoes, fruit, etc. and feel fine. Those calories add up, too.
Don’t count (too much).
Calorie counting is pretty heavily debated by, well, everyone. Should you or shouldn’t you? It depends on you and your mindset, but for me it’s helpful to make sure I hit a minimum. I’m a type-A numbers freak, and I find that if I do much more, I get a little obsessive. After that minimum, I keep eating if I’m hungry, but I don’t force it. Usually, I’m hungry enough for at least a little more, and it all helps.
The strategies.
If you’ve been trying to gain weight for any period of time, you’ve heard a lot of these, but here’s what I tend to do.
Add toppings. I like smoothie bowls better than smoothies for two reasons: texture and toppings.
The toppings are what matter here. You can add extra calories by sprinkling smoothies with nut butter, nuts, coconut, and fruit. You can bump up a salad’s calories by adding seeds, fruit, and/or a good dressing. These are the types of things that don’t take up a ton of real estate in your stomach, but they give you good bang for your caloric buck.
Eat before bed. Going to bed stuffed is a surefire way for me to sleep terribly. But eating a snack that fills me up both helps me sleep and helps me cram in some extra calories at the end of the day. Sometimes I even realize I’m way hungrier than I thought, so I go back for even more.
Eat early. If I’m working out right after I get up, I don’t usually eat beforehand unless I’m really hungry. Just a personal preference. However, if I’m waiting a bit to work out, I find that eating an early breakfast keeps me hungrier throughout the day.
Add what feels right. I can eat a lot of fat, largely in the forms of nuts and avocados, and my stomach can deal with it. I can’t eat a ton of bread and pasta and feel the same way. So, I’m not going to tell you to add handful after handful of nuts to your diet if your body doesn’t like fat (but please send them my way!). If a giant bowl of pasta works for you, have at it. You learn what works for YOU.
Don’t beat yourself up.
If, like me, you’re trying to gain weight for health in addition to aesthetics, stressing out about it isn’t going to make you any healthier. Sometimes, I eat what’s probably “too much” even for me. Sometimes, I probably don’t eat quite enough. I’m a perfectionist, so I hate both of these, but I try to roll with it. It all hopefully balances out in the end.
How to eat more & feeling better about it. #fitfluential #bgbcommunity Share on XYour turn:
Calorie counting: yay or nay?
Are you a perfectionist or are you one of the lucky laid-back ones?
Did you have a good weekend?
I’ve been working on a post like this, too, so don’t be surprised if you see one! I’m super proud of you–you are doing so well with this, even though yes, it can be a struggle. But keep that eye on the prize, girly. And I’m ALWAYS here for you!
I’ll look forward to reading yours! Thanks for the love ❤️
This was such a great and honest post! I can somewhat relate after losing a few pounds from getting glutened a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I don’t feel great and I’m trying to gain it back (while being cautious because of my stomach, which is hard). Fat is easier than carbs for me too, but that is NOT the case for everyone. Granola for the win!
Thanks, Emily! Ick. I can’t imagine getting sick and having to deal with that too. Totally understand the struggle of eating more without wrecking your stomach, as you know. And yessss to granola ?
It’s all about the fats! So easy to add in since it’s so calorie dense! Plus you end up just feeling better and healthier with more energy!
Fats are the best ❤️ It’s no problem for me to just eat nut butter and trail mix all the time.
Whether or not I’m trying to gain weight–which it seems like I am all the time, because stress hits my appetite like nothing else, and school is stressful!–I’ve found that calorie counting does NOT work for me, given my background with disordered eating.
I love your mindset of not beating yourself up for eating too much or too little; it really does all balance out in the end! I am a recovering perfectionist, so I get that tendency to constantly question yourself: did I eat too little or too much? Do I need to eat more? Will this help me fall asleep or keep me from falling asleep? It’s tricky to balance needing to gain weight and perfectionism, but we’ll get there. 🙂
For better or for worse, college has turned me into a little bit of a stress eater, so whether I’m hungry or not, I don’t lose as much weight as I used to when I’m stressed.
It’s so good you know what works for YOU. Haha and you know I struggle with all those perfectionist thoughts. When they attack, I just turn on an audiobook or Netflix and try to focus on something else!
I really love all these tips. So, I kind of still sub consciously calorie count, but I’m way more intuitive than I used to be about calorie counting. I would never go over my calorie limit even if I was hungry, but now I kind of know what works for my body when it comes to calories. And I”m short, but I guess I eat quite a lot. I like that you’re laid back about it, because that way you aren’t obsessed by eating too much or eating too litt.e
It’s fantastic that you’ve learned to listen to your body! And yes, even though you’re small, sometimes you just need a lot of food ? There are worse things!
as someone currently trying to gain weight, this post was super helpful! The physical discomfort of eating more has been really hard for me lately. I try to embrace the healthy fats because like you, my stomach seems to be able to handle those a lot easier than some other things! Thanks for this post Ellen!
As someone with plenty of stomach issues, I totally get where you’re coming from. Sometimes, it’s just not comfortable to fit more food in there 😛 Always here if you want to talk, Sarah!
I feel you on the weight gain woes, girl! Before I was diagnosed with coeliac I lost a HEAP of weight (as my body wasn’t absorbing anything – nutrients, calories, you name it) and it took me such a long time to gain any back – and even when I did it was so hard to do it. I still have 5 or so kilos (which is 11 or so lbs) to gain which is an ongoing slow process. My body seems to like to speed up the more I put in it so I’ll gain maybe one kilo only to have my body decide “oh hai gurl, I like eating all these extra calories” and stay the same.
I eat a crazy ridiculous amount that makes my friends jealous (to which I tell them not to be jealous because I eat so much and still have to face the “eat a sandwich” “you’re so skinny” mockery) but that’s just what I’ve got to do!
Sure I eat more than I’m “supposed to” if I went off calorie rules or guidelines or whatever, but clearly that doesn’t work for me! The last time I went to a dietitian she told me I was eating “way too many calories” (I don’t count calories so had no clue – I just know roughly how much I should be eating to not lose weight!) and that I should be eating less and needless to say I never went back to her 😛
We sound SO similar. Crazy. I saw a dietitian who told me to be careful with how many nuts I eat because they have a lot of fat. It’s not like that’s all I eat, and I need the calories…soooo that’s not gonna work for me. Never saw her again.
Wow it is so interesting to hear the other side of the story, the struggles of trying to put on weight. I imagine that you probably suffer just as much body image issues as the rest of us. Does it frustrate you when you hear others complaining about their weight or wishing they were thin like you?
I definitely have my share of body image issues, or at least bad days. But overall I’m doing alright 🙂
Hmm. Not in the way you might think. I mean, I don’t want people to be as thin as me just because it’s not necessarily healthy. I understand that other people have their own weight issues, though, and I totally respect that. I’ve joked with plenty of people that if they want to donate the 10 pounds they’re complaining about to me, then I’d be okay with that. Basically, we all have things we’d change about ourselves, so it doesn’t really mean that one of us has it better. That said, I admit that society treats the super skinny people better than those who are overweight, though I obviously think that’s wrong.
This couldn’t be more on point…after my eating disorder I struggled with this too…it is so HARD to just eat more both physically and mentally and even know as a group fitness instructor and twin mom I’m ALWAYS MOVING and feel like ALWAYS EATING and I still wouldn’t mind gaining a few pounds…hang in there I know the mental pain of this!!!
For me counting of ALL types – calories, macros, containers is a NO because I am a perfectionist and it can go down the wrong path SUPER fast!
I’m quite active, as well, so that doesn’t help! Good luck, Sarah ?