I’m modeling post this after Carly’s recent one. Go check it out!
Dear Dietitian,
I came to you asking advice on gaining weight. I know, it’s a crazy thought: a young, very underweight female who actually wants to look more like an adult than a little girl. You weren’t the first dietitian I’d seen, and I told you this.
I also told you what I ate, how it often tallied up to far more than what any calculator said I should need. And you offered me condescension and half-hearted help.
See, having seen dietitians before, I know a surprising amount about nutrition, more than any teenage girl really should. I know that proper amounts of calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, etc. are crucial for my health. I also know what foods contain them and that I eat plenty of them.
You suggested I eat nuts and nut butters because they contain a lot of calories. I love them and eat them frequently and in larger amounts than you suggested. But you cautioned me not to eat too many.
You reminded me to put dressing on my salads. Um… isn’t that kind of the only way to eat salad, at least if you want it to taste good?
You said I should aim to get a decent amount of protein, listed some protein sources, and asked how much of each I ate. You said that should be more than enough to achieve my goals. Again, I shouldn’t go overboard.
You gave me a rough estimate of how many calories I need, and I showed you that I consistently eat more than that. You said that should be plenty, more than enough. I really should be careful not to eat too much.
I admitted that sometimes I eat an entire bag of Oreos or a pint of ice cream, and you warned me that this was a bad idea; I should really eliminate most processed foods. Maybe this would be “ideal”. But I told you I knew it wouldn’t work for my sanity. I balance my desserts with dinners, snacks with salads.
You seemed skeptical and ended our visit here. You reminded me to keep a general calorie count to make sure I was hitting your too-low goal.
I left frustrated and feeling like you hadn’t really listened. I had been doing everything you suggested with no success. I wanted you to think outside the box and try to help me as an individual, but you didn’t budge from what was expected, from what was normal.
I left feeling stuck and continued on my independent, unscientific journey of getting healthier, often by eating a little bit unhealthily.
In all honesty, I’m doing a little better now. But not because of your “help”.
Such a lovely post. Your testimony is so beautiful <3
Thanks so much, Edye.
Hi Ellen, I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with these health care professionals. As a current dietetics student, I must tell you though that not all dietitians share the “half-hearted” attitude that you spoke of. The Registered Dietitians that I work with are extremely passionate about health and care deeply for the clients/patients that we see. We also receive thorough education for situations just like yours. Again, I am sorry for your experiences thus far; but I do hope that you are consulting a Registered and Licensed Dietitian through a reputable healthcare system. I wish you luck with your journey!
I definitely don’t want to generalize. I’m absolutely sure that there are really excellent RDs out there who do a great job and help a lot of people. As of yet, I simply haven’t found one who’s helped me – and I’ve seen a few. I do know the difference between RDs and nutritionists and the like, though, and I think a lot of my disappointment stems from the fact that I’ve been seeing RDs. Anyway, I didn’t mean to offend. I truly have a lot of respect for the profession. I wish you luck as you finish your education!!
This is such a good post, Ellen!! I have so much respect for you and your attitude about food! It is SO inspiring to me, to try just listening to my body and not being worried so much about what other sources are saying is good/bad for me. Also, on another note: I 100% agree and support your stand on how there are some things you cannot eliminate and keep your sanity. I have said those *exact* words to my naturopath, who would like it if I could cut out of my diet all the food that causes me to react. There is just. no. way. Mentally, I can’t. Thankfully, she understands that, and, although she thinks it would be better for my body if I didn’t, she’s okay with me making that decision and choosing to suffer any consequences. So I know completely what you are talking about!
I am sorry you are having such difficult and frustrating time with this whole experience…I hope you find a satisfying solution SOON!! <3
I’m sorry you’re struggling with some health problems, too, Hannah! I’m glad your naturopath listens to you, and I hope you have found a good balance 🙂 Thanks for your kind words <3
Aw I’m sorry to hear about your bad RD experience! I hope you’re able to find one who’s a better fit for you and who can work with your food needs 🙂
Thanks, Liv! 🙂
Thank you for this post Ellen, it was so nice to read!! I’m sorry you had a bad experience with a dietitian. I really admire you for sticking with what you feel is right and doing what is best for you. You seem to have a great attitude towards food– it is so awesome! Keep it up 🙂
Thanks, Mel! 🙂
I am proud of you! It is not always easy to put into words the “wonderful” experiences you have had. You have gone to each medical professional that you have been asked to visit…sometimes with complaints, but you still did it despite not expecting much. Hopefully, this is the last dietician that you have to visit, though it would be wonderful if you could find a dietician that is as awesome as your doctor. Love you!
Thanks, Mommy <3
I love what you had to say! I had a similar experience. When I was inpatient for anorexia I had a horrible dietician. When I was discharged I was afraid to go to my new dietician. Long story short, she was absolutely positively wonderful. She taught me so much and helped me become more independent in regards to choosing the right foods. Since then, she has stopped working due to having twins, but her work with me is something I will always be thankful for.
I’m glad you were able to find someone help you get more comfortable with food 🙂 It’s definitely important to feel that you can trust your doctors, no matter what the situation!
I’m sorry you had such a similarly shitty experience as I did. I know there are plenty of amazing, competent dietitians out there; it’s a shame we didn’t get to meet with those ones. Great post!
xoxo
Thanks, Carly! I’m glad you’re in a good place now, as well <3
I am so sorry that you have had so many negative experiences! I have the opposite problem you do, as I am trying to lose weight, but it is interesting to hear the other side of the story. Not very many people talk about what it is like to be on your side, and I feel really bad for you! I wish I could make a donation and we could both be happy! ;P We are here for you even if we aren’t all struggling with the same issue, we are struggling nonetheless! I hope you will find someone who will be able to help you!
Thanks, Abbie. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling a bit, too. Everything will work out 🙂