A thing I’ve learned since coming to college is that exactly zero people really know what they’re doing about… well, anything. Whether mine or a friend’s, I experience a mini crisis at least twice a week. Fourth year students who have jobs lined up for after graduation have assured me that they’re just as clueless and lost as first years (like me!) who barely have the next day figured out. My mom insists that she still doesn’t know what she wants to be when she “grows up”. While I don’t exactly believe that, the point is that things change, everyone is a little unsure, and ultimately, that’s part of life.
And that’s all well and good. Except… it doesn’t always feel that way.
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I think it’s fair to say that college (and young adulthood in general) is a time where you are trying to figure out what you want life to look like when you have only very limited knowledge of what the options are. And so as you work through classes and meet new people and manage your time, you’re also always trying to look ahead. You might glance around and see what life looks like for the people you admire, the ones who seem to have their lives together, but there are two huge problems with that:
- Seeming to have your life together is really different from actually knowing what you’re doing.
- A “together” life looks different for everyone.
Which leaves you right back at square one, trying to figure out what is best for you. And there are problems with that, too:
- What is best for who you are now is not necessarily best for you twenty years from now.
- You have no way of knowing all of the feasible options.
The good news there is that you can always change paths. The bad news is that you probably aren’t going to figure everything out right now. I think that’s where I am now, and as a person who really likes to know things, that is really hard. I used to try to plan my life out, and now I really just try to plan my day out. (Okay, so I’m also trying to determine what my summer is going to look like, but you get the idea.)
Still, not knowing what the future holds leaves this huge hole that just about anything could fill. The state of my mind is beautifully summed up by this:
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I guess this is a way of saying that I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life, and I’m not sure that’s a reality I fully understood before coming to college. I think that it’s a lot easier to believe that everything will work itself out when you aren’t directly confronted with the task of sifting through the possibilities and actually applying for jobs and internships.
Again, I’m fairly sure that it will all work out. I’m just not quite sure how. And that’s what I’m struggling with right now.
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Can you relate?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Ah yea, the HOW. Things always do end up eventually (keyword) working out, but the how is scary and kinda sucks…a lot. The future is exciting and endless, but so scary too. I hate when people tell me or college kids they don’t need to know what they want…but we actually do. We can’t waste money on a meaningless education and throw caution to the wind without any direction or goals.
So true. But if you aren’t sure what you want, you just have to learn as much as you can and work hard and hope for the best, I guess.
Yep! It’s really hard, especially when making BIG decisions and you’re thinking, “How is this going to affect the rest of my LIFE??” I keep having to remind myself that it’s okay, and good actually (because my mind would explode, lol!), that I don’t know everything. And also, that I don’t know about how everything in my life is going to turn out right now…because I might make foolish decisions based on that knowledge, or I might get really discouraged or depressed about something that’s going to happen in my life that I don’t have the strength to cope with yet. It’s all about constantly telling yourself the truth over and over, so your mind doesn’t drive itself crazy with all the might-be’s of life and get bogged down in working on the here and now.
I’m not sure I’ll ever grow up or become an adult… 😛 But when I get older, I want to be a wife and stay-at-home mom! 🙂
I like that… “telling yourself the truth over and over, so your mind doesn’t drive itself crazy with all the might-be’s of life”. I need to work on that 😉
Yes. Let’s never grow up. 😀
I completely resonate with this! Coming to college was an intimidating time for me. I had no clue what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and here I was surrounded by others who had it all figured out. I was SO wrong! Everyone is struggling with something, and that is perfectly okay!
I want to be an astronaut when I “grow up,” but realistically, I hope to be an author/English teacher!
It’s kind of nice to realize we’re all figuring it out together, isn’t it?
You’re a lovely writer, so I’m sure those would suit you very nicely 🙂
I just graduated last year and I completely understand what you’re going through. I’m pretty sure I wrote this exact post last year 🙂 I can promise you that everything WILL fall into place. I didn’t know what I wanted to do and after spending 3 months searching after graduation while I was working at my local beach for the 7th year in a row, my dream job that I didn’t know existed fell into my lap. And now, I couldn’t be happier. SO as stressful as it seems now, everything WILL fall into place!
Thanks, Sarah! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. And I’m SO happy you found your dream job! 😀
Oh my, yes, I can certainly relate! Recently I’ve felt like I’m going absolutely nowhere, and I wonder if I’ll be stuck here forever. While I know that I won’t, sometimes it feels otherwise, and it is very hard to believe. But it’s the small steps and decisions that will carry me forward. Now I just have make those decisions, or take the steps – both of which I am horrible at! 😀
I soooo feel you on being horrible with decisions. But you can do it! 😀